A Leave Application -

If I try to give you a customary statistic, then it is 365 days in a year, which form 52 weeks, wherein, a normal private job holder get leaves of about 60 days for Sundays and 10 odd days for half Saturdays. He earns about 32 paid leaves and is entitled to 15 sick leaves. Any unforeseen changes in life means; money deducted from the salary.

There are times when we don’t feel like working, there are times when we don’t put in our 100%, and at times we might just forget what our boss ordered. but in between all this, we also remain the cry babies and keep cribbing for what we don’t get and what we don’t have.

When it’s a friend’s birthday; we need an off, if it is your girlfriend’s wish; we oblige her with an office bunk, if the employee of the other departments are lazy and still get recognition, you feel disheartened. You can’t afford that expensive vacation, which your neighbour enjoys every year, your car is not even half the size of what the laundry man have, your children feel embarrassed carrying those old school bags and you; well, you can’t wipe your ironic grin off when your love for smallest material goes wasted unachieved and you can’t even complain.

So much of pain and so much of sacrifice isn’t it? 

If you recall the Hollywood flick ‘Bruce Almighty’ or even the Bollywood version of it ‘God Tussi Great Ho’ you would know the importance of holding the office, running it, sacrificing the days and nights for others and eventually you can’t complain!

For me, there were many a raison d'être for being a self centric being and often act like a piece of maze, till the time I got hold of my sense, which could think and monitor. When I got into bad situations, I sometimes (not always) prayed to god and visited temples. I would sit there and ask for every possible comfort in life and think that god could do it all; sooner the better! Slowly the entreaty started to fade and I lost belief in him; and I had every reason to do so. Why? Well, he  never listened to me and I always ended up waiting for that one wish to be fulfilled. 


But we all do have a change of heart, as and when we see things right? So did I!

I recalled the scenes from the mythological movies and stage shows, which we all used to see when we were kids and we would see the ‘Grand Avatar’ of all the lords as humans. And now I saw the pictures of all the gods and goddess and to my disarray they all looked like humans. What a mess!

Deep in my dream land, wherein,I could only sense and not feel I saw god crying. Oh yeah, you heard it right, I did see him crying. 


He was helpless! 


Just imagine a small office, wherein, one correction in working culture takes ages to pass through, India alone has over 130 Crores of population, and I don’t even know the world’s overall number. How on the holly earth can the poor chap sitting in heaven, hear to all and serve all? And even a smallest amount of delay (as if we give him time limits) in making a wish come true, results in our curses and abuses to him, yeah, as if he was our boy friend and we are  his girlfriends that he needs to act fast; just like that.

God too feels feeble, he also can feel the misery of not being able to help the world he shaped, the pain of deaths slits his heart too and a lover’s failure takes a portion out of his elements. Mothers who lose their infants because of starvation, a father who can’t nosh his family and the children has to bear the pain, the infancy, which instead of listening to the angel’s story in bed is spent begging on streets, the race of the races and the castes, which dethrones humanity in the park and raises the monsters to hate.

All of these are not what he planned in his life, but he sees and suffers and shed tears sitting alone. "I did not want this, nor did I plan this …then why?? I made all for one and one for all, then why divisions? Why do I have so many names for so many voices?"

I always knew he could bleed, I always knew he could also have those water locked eyes, but for today, I witnessed what you all would never be able to. He never would tell us to go to hell or to fuck off or be at a distance. The more we detach ourselves with him, the closer he tries to get to us. One way or the other, one day or the other, he comes back in our life and makes us realize that we are a part of his palm and when he tightens it we become his might. So we need to survive for him to survive and that is the cycle. 

Reasons, could be anything but I saw him in my dreams getting ready for the night shift and then for the morning and then again for he night.

There are no leaves for him…the office is open all the time and in his pocket there lies a letter; LEAVE APPLICATION, which remains…

Unsent……