My Confession !

One line that I think, which could be sufficient to describe what I feel right now. A word that I run after to show my situation to you or to make you believe that I am thinking. Confession; YES I think this is the right word to describe what I want to share or disclose to all today.

What is this confession all about? It gives me a scary feeling to even imagine the pain I am going to put you through to and also a part of me to say the least. My heart which is the repository of all my feelings, the centre of your being, tried hard and cried hard to chase the unseen dream of being in your smile, in your thoughts only to see your broken heart of your past and its inability to find a corner for me.

When I sit alone I look back at my wet eyes which could not drop the tear down to my cheeks to make that woeful line of emotions to be seen and make you feel that may be, may be you could have tried to be with me and stay with me as one heart …not two bodies who know each other.

True senses of reality should have prevailed to understand that feelings and emotions can never be ignited, they just ignite themselves and make them obvious for the person meant to be. But who could control that horse like heart and mind running without a jockey?? Not me !! May be I dint want to…..
I look at you not because you are the most beautiful girl I have seen, I look at you because you are the only girl I want to see. You are that image which made me believe in love one more time and made me realize that I wasn’t dead from inside. I beg for your command for me to be there near you and stay around you, be your pillar of strength and be your shadow when its dark. I so wanted things to be like this.

I also realize that when you lost your sense of feeling love inside I was the one who got hurt more than you, not because you were in pain, but because I couldn’t do anything to sooth it.. I was so made to feel like a failure…So I was !!

My confession is with me, I want to be treated bad and smashed, have that pain which ironically is my medicine to ease. I stand here to confess that I loved you and I love you but I know I cant get you. I confess that I am alive, to be dead without you. I confess