Once !!

There is a question I want an answer for
Dejected I am by your ignorance, waiting for little more
Unable to understand, thrive and check
Who am I for you, if anything, confounded my thoughts break

I fail to catch your attention and I fail to make you talk
I look back at little moments we spent together, moments we had little walk,
Human as I am I am supposed to assume which I did
Wrong so wrong it was , good that my assumption was only at a stage which was mid.

The only one I care for is the one I should not
I regret that I am what I am, would love hatred and me to be in a knot
Disgraceful my presence is for you and for me, for everyone as a fact
In a 100 sq feet house I sit alone and try to keep myself intact.

Why ?? why is that you couldn’t even talk once and then go all away
You unspoken words have left me nowhere but on a dead end of a highway,
I should go up or should go down and vent
I choke?? Is this what I was supposed to be and meant ??

Glorious thoughts I had once that I remember with me
Past as they say is past and nothing to feel free
Wish I was invisible, unheard too and not only unwonted
Things would have been simple for everyone and I wouldn’t have been demented.

I need a shoulder which I hate to trust on
I once had a love for you which now seems to be long gone
The word I m left is painful to swallow and makes no sense
Love which I had for you “once” has become my obsessed life hence.